This morning I read a insightful article that resonated well with my heart and I’d like to share it with you. It’s written by Jafree Ozwald from Enlightened Beings.
“Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction and certainly not in isolation.” J. Krishnamurti
The quality of our relationships is the best guide we have to knowing ourselves. The way we interact, react and respond to others allows us understand where we are at in our soul’s path and evolution. The way we behave with others acts as a mirror for our own consciousness. It reveals the details of the role we believe we are playing in this world, and lets us clearly see our reflection in the mirror. The more aware we are of the mirror that each relationship has, the easier it becomes to change our response, alter the judgment (reflection) we perceive to be there, and then take a more enlightened approach to the image. Ultimately, the relationship mirror is there to create deep insights into ourselves so we can adjust to create a healthier attitude towards life, and manifest a better world for our future. What you see in your relationship mirror each day reveals everything you need to know about yourself. What you like in others is what you believe you are lacking inside yourself. What you don’t like in others is what you are rejecting and denial of inside yourself. It truly is this simple. The more intimate you can become with everyone in your mirror, the more the Universe will reveal to you where it is you are blocked on your journey and how spiritually evolved you actually are.
Through other people we can see every detail of ourselves. We can see which priorities we deem to be sacred, understand the level of attachment and aloofness we have in our love life, see the level of fear and denial that we are dealing with, and discover all the hidden issues we have buried deeper inside. Relationships help us to see the real source of our pain, loneliness, frustration, and of course get a glimpse into the unconditional love that thrives at the core of our being. It is only through diving into this divine multi-dimensional, multi-sensual mirror that the divine supreme consciousness inside our soul can be discovered! Once this pure consciousness is found and brought up through the murky waters into every relationship we have, it paves a path for permanent and total liberation from all forms of suffering that have encaged us in all our lives.
“Residing in the mind is hell, prison. Resting in the heart, in love is heaven, freedom. We are more free than any thought conceived of what defines freedom. Who we are is far more vast than anything the mind thinks we are.” ~Angela Walker
Real poverty in life does not come from a lack of financial abundance, energy or creativity. Poverty stems from an avoidance and neglect of looking at who you are in this relationship mirror. Whenever we get into the habit of blaming anything outside ourselves for our unhappiness, we cannot really know why we are unhappy. When we are not using the relationship reflection to see into the truth of who we are being, we cannot develop our most enlightened character that we can imagine becoming on life’s stage.
The richest person in this world is the one who is the most free. This level of freedom in life comes not from a freedom that can be taken away from, yet from simply embracing and accepting wholeheartedly what is seen in the relationship mirror. The wise person has a respect for the feedback found in the reflection, and a state of gratitude for it, no matter how depressing the image may seem to be. There is an equanimity in the mind with where things are at because they can see the bigger picture of life’s journey. This truly enriched enlightened being has developed the habit of approaching others without judgment, fear or manipulation. They simply honor each person as a teacher who was sent to guide the soul back to Source in the most unique and unsuspecting way.
One of the most interesting insights I’ve had in my life was around about how the world actually is and how it sometimes appears to be. The World is this highly intelligent and perfectly organized field of conscious energy, which can appear to be dark, messy, harsh, unjust and abusive. It has both polarities at all times, and when this is realized the mind is not so easily tempted to believe there is only one side. When this enlightening thought hit me it became crystal clear how the Universe is always in a karmically divine order and is constantly in balance within itself. It is never off balance, ever. It only seems to be lacking balance and order when we have a narrowed mind and one-sided perspective.
“The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.” ~Osho
When we remove the blinds we can revel in the glory of this sweet unsolvable mystery that is meant to keep us living freely on the edge of the unknown. By welcoming this succulent mystery of the relationship mirror everyday, we can see all three sides of the coin and truly be free. We can know who we spiritually are and start dancing beneath the stars without a care in the world. We can stop to relax and bathe in the Sun’s warm sunshine, enjoy the fluttering of a butterfly passing by, and feel the cool breeze glide across our face as we interact with our community from a place of understanding, lightness, awareness and compassion.
In our most enlightened space, we are constantly choosing to feel accept, love and appreciate ourselves exactly the way we are. This self-loving energy is then reflected outwards, onto everyone else in the world, giving them the feeling of self-acceptance exactly as they are. When we are abiding in this deep state of acceptance, we can find every experience to be exquisitely enlightening. We greet each experience with an open state of outer curiosity and inner self-enquiry. We constantly balance upon the edge of what we know and don’t know to be true.
It is this inquisitive state of mind that pushes us to reach into the spiritual depths of the heart and discover the most magnificent home that is within our innermost being. By simply abiding in a state of wonder we can know how easy it is to evolve in consciousness, and every day discover a joyous heart in our chest overflowing with gratitude and love. This is the only way we can truly transcend all the suffering created in the mind.
During your day, whenever you can, stop to take a good long look inside yourself. Notice if either you have a heart filled with peace, or a mind caught in some whirlwind of thinking. It’s either one or the other, never do they both exist together. It’s like water and oil, they remain distinct and separate yet can appear to be mixed. When you’re looking inside, if you don’t like what you find, remember that you are the highest authority of your life! You are The Great Divine Master of your inner world. You have the power to make it into a heaven or a hell, and it’s all depending on one little thing. How connected are you with your heart. By forming a practice of creating a cozy sweet nest which you can feel is “home sweet home” within your heart, your journey through life will never feel cold, dark, lonely or fearful. Instead you will always have light and warmth wherever you are.
“And this is a miracle: the moment that you realize that there is no way to make a home, then this whole existence is home. Then wherever you are, you are at home.” ~Course in Miracles
Relationships are designed to not turn out the way we think they should because they are meant to make you grow in the most miraculous ways. The enlightened path of relationship is the path to total freedom because it throws us into the greatest spiritual journey of our lives. Relationships are the advanced life mastery course of life, they are the most ultimate challenge we can take. When we open up to explore a deep intimate relationship with someone, we have to look at ourselves in the spiritual mirror. The deeper we go, the more we will learn. Even if the relationship fizzles out in a week, falls through the cracks in a few months, or ends in devastating divorce after years, we are always given the gift of freedom in the end. The feeling of total liberation hits us like a gentle feather or a brick, depending on if we looked into the mirror and discovered this divine succulent spiritual truth of who we really are along the way.
Perhaps the greatest tip I’ve found in creating a healthy loving relationship is first knowing exactly what will ruin it. It’s important to know that the very moment you stop enjoying your relationship, you are starting to destroy it. You’ll also kill any relationship by imposing your ideas about how the other should and should not be. If you don’t tell the whole truth, hide your feelings, and don’t be impeccable with your word you’ll squeeze the life out of it. If you hide, play emotionally small, think small thoughts, and don’t ever take a risk to be real they cannot respect you and will one day walk away. If you can never apologize for anything, they will always be at a distance for you. The secret is doing the opposite of each of these things. We all deserve some room to make mistakes in life, and yet if you are spending years feeling stuck in your relationship, you’re not taking the time to look at the reflection in the mirror that’s right in front of you.
“The day on which we come to know the supreme consciousness within us, then the outside world will also appear to us like the expanse of the supreme consciousness. The whole will be a mirror to us when we become a mirror within.” ~Osho
The last insight that I wish to share with you today, may be one of the greatest secrets to mastering relationships of them all. This is about knowing how to distinguish and interact with the two types of people in life. There are those who feed you, and those who feed off of you. People will either try to inspire you and lift you up, or devour your energy and pull you down. Many people out there aren’t yet conscious about how they are relating to you, nor the impact they have upon you. They live too close to their mind and cannot see the reflection in the mirror. The responsibility then is yours if you are falling prey to someone who pulls you down each day. Notice how do you respond when this someone is pulling your energy down? Why do you respond the way you do? Once you are able to respond with respect for yourself and never let anyone pull you down into the emotional dumpster with them, you have mastered one of the greatest lessons in this life.
In the end, we are each the ultimate authorities of what we manifest in our lives. We are each responsible for enjoying the people we bring into our homes, and responsible for the way we allow them to treat us. We are responsible if others can enjoy us, or feel forced to run away from us. We are the real authority. The greatest relationship is with ourselves. The other is there so our soul is pushed deeper, and we stop pointing the finger at the outer world for our lack of love or power. The connection with our own soul is where the gold is at, and this happens simply by turning our attention towards no other direction than the central heart of our being.
The heart is the answer to all our problems in life. We did not come to Earth to micromanage our lives, achieve our goals, reach to the top, or fix our broken self-esteem. Our mission here is much simpler and sweeter than this. We are here to abide in the heart, transcend the ego, find our real spiritual path and ascend into each day with pure unconditional love from our soul. We were born to discover that who we truly are is beyond the form and the formless. We are here to remember that we are timeless spiritual beings who do not die. We came here to embody this sweet sacred knowing and develop an everyday understanding that eternity is our natural state of being. This is why we are here, and understanding this in relationship brings about the gateway to freedom.