Have you ever been in a situation where you felt totally betrayed by someone else? Where you’ve put your time, trust and faith into a relationship – any kind of relationship – with someone just to have them act in a way which you feel is disrespectful to you and abuse of your trust and faith?
To forgive someone who, maybe even intentionally, have done you wrong might be one of the hardest things to do – especially when you’ve put a great deal of love, trust and faith in that individual. I believe most of us have had to face something like that at least once but more likely a few times in our lives. The pain that such perceived betrayal comes with is unspeakable and for many, only second to that of the death of a loved one. Which in a way makes sense since when faced with such a painful situation you have in fact lost someone – and a relation – that you have held dearly, treasured deeply and have had great faith in. It’s gone – no longer existing. Most times we also instantly feel the need to understand “why?!”
First of all, on the “why?!”-question? Does it matter? No – not unless someone was having a gun held to their or one of their loved ones head. We are all blessed with the freedom of choice and if someone chooses to act in a way that crosses the line – and most of us know where the line goes, “common sense” – for the benefit of someone or something else obviously more important, then in my point of view I was not valued very highly as an individual. “Why” does not matter at all. What matter is what you choose to do to move forward.
Although I do not find it important to examine the reason the event happened I do believe that it’s necessary to examine your own TRUE feelings about it – to reach out to your higher consciousness. With this I mean that you need to go BEYOND the thoughts that your Ego is creating – like wounded pride or worries about others point of view – and think about your own true feelings about the situation. When you’ve done that it’ll be easy to take the next step – towards forgiveness. At that point you’ll know that you need to do nothing – it’s forgiveness. It is so well put in the ACIM:
“[…] What then takes its place is now the will of God. Forgiveness is still and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspects of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is. Do nothing then, and let forgiveness show you what to do, through Him who is your guide, your Savior and Protector, strong in hope, and certain of your ultimate success.”
With this I am not saying that you should move on with this individual. Only you know if that’s the right thing for you to do. You are the only one who know what the “right” course of action is for you, at this time in your life. You should do that which make sure you’ll stay in tune with the Divine as this reasures your path will be one of spiritual growth and connection. And you are not sure what to do – ask for God’s guidance. “If you ask you will receive” – always.
Remember that everything happens for a reason and sometimes God do send you that special someone in order for you to learn the spiritual lessons you need to learn. The most important thing is to stay true to your own spiritual growth and let other deal with theirs. Be thankful however for your good heart and for your faithful trust – it is a blessing from God!♥
“Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.” – Marsha Sinetar