Saturday’s Wisdom: Be True To Yourself

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It’s not personal

Each of us comes into this world with a particular mission, written within our souls. I have myimages own mission as you have yours. We might cross paths as our individual missions in one way or another may interact with eachother’s – however each and every single one of us will still be alone on our own spiritual journey in order to fulfill our own particular mission. And we all have our lessons to learn…our experiences and wisdom to gain. This means that we once or a couple of times in life say or do things that aren’t in the best of interest for our own spiritual growth nor for anyone else – it is however a step that needs to be taken on our journey as we mature and, like a baby taking it’s first steps, are navigating and trying to master something that is so much greater than ourselves. So don’t take anything anyone else’s doing personally as it is not you who are the Star of their show, it is themselves.

If you manage to master this blessing you’ll be able to share of your love imagesCAGT5V9Qbut still not be a target for someone elses harmful words or actions. You won’t need to put your trust in what other people do or say as you will not be affected by it – each and everyone must owe up to take responsibility for their own reality. You can choose to follow your heart always no matter what as no one will be able to harm you – enabling you to focus on how to share of your greatest gift, love.

If being faced with feelings of hurt, instead of choosing any of the “easier” options like feeling sorry for yourself, “paying back” or feeling resentment towards the one who “caused” you pain – in fact inflicted pain on him or herself – ask yourself “How am I going to grow from this? How can I use this to make me my most Divine self? What can I now contribute that I couldn’t have if I had never had this experience?” Embrace the experience – I know it ain’t easy every time but try –, vision the greater Divine picture and learn from it. Always remember, it really really isn’t personal!

 

Do you know “The Almighty GodManager”?

Throughout my career I’ve coached and worked with countless of senior executives who seemed to think they were working in a “perfect” organization – “perfect” or blessed, simply because they were the ones “leading” it. The Almighty GodManager if you wish. I am confident that you too have come across one or many of these managers who are self-proclaimed “leaders” wanting to be in charge of everything yet sadly ends up untitled leading – or even managing – nothing. We recognize them by the way they keep their disillusioned feeling of power close to home, not uncommonly at the organizational level where they currently are at. When working with some of the organization’s strategical questions they are the ones setting the organization’s vision and goals and it is they whom decided when the goals are fulfilled.

Needless to say these individuals find themselves working upstream a lot, often huffing and puffing about their overwhelmed sense of “important tasks to do” as they feel the urge to do “everything  by themselves” – after all, they are the ones “running the show”… The chosen one. Except they are not. Not really. No, let me rephrase that…not at all.  Their employees are most likely  working harder. In trying to figure out where the organization is heading and what their own part really is in the organizational big picture. Meanwhile they are also huffing and puffing about their huge work load, with no time to help a colleague yet not at all willing to give up any of their enormous amount of tasks to anyone else. At first sight it looks like a busy well run organization – it has to be since everyone is working so extremely hard, right? But at a deeper look you’ll see nothing but chaos with everyone being busy doing nothing remotely productive for the organization. Dollars ticking away for no reason and only because of the one at the top of the organizational chai – a very high price not only for the customers but also for all the stakeholders, including the employees, the shareholders, the community and in the end, the nation.

So what can we do about it? I’d say, many things. We know that in successful organizations leaders live and breathe the company vision. A vision that is created  by the entire organization – created from bottom up, not the other way around. These leaders undoubtedly supports the imagesCA9RY216implementation of the vision by encouraging their employees to put focus on specific and powerful goals. In doing so, they are creating an energetic value-based environment where their employees are empowered to creatively take part in the overhead strategic plans as they work towards the fulfillment of the vision. It’s natural, in order for your vision to manifest you first need to make sure your employees feel ownership of it and it’s fulfillment.

But that’s not it. Apart from involving your employees in the process of setting your organization’s vision you also need to let them participate in setting the organization’s goals – goals that are perceived by your employees as meaningful. Your goals need to be challenging enough for your employees to step up yet not so unrealistic that they feel overwhelmed by the mere thought of it, clear so that they are easy to understand for everyone, time-specified so that everyone knows when they are to be fully implemented, measurable so that you – and your employees – will know when they actually are reached and few for the purpose of maintaining focus. Secondly you need to ensure that you employees understand the connection between their actions – their de facto work – and your set goals. By dividing the main goals into smaller goals and further to individual goals for each employee, your employees will be additionally stimulated to do their very best to fulfil the organizational goals.

There’s no doubt that the greatest of leaders create an inspiring vision for themselves, their people and their organizations. For these extraordinary leaders this vision is not only words on a piece of shiny paper but it also has a deep meaning – it’s supported by the organizational values. In an ideal organizational world the organization’s vision together with its well-accepted and lived-by values create the frame within which employees act. In a perfect organization leaders do not simply point at the organization’s vision and actually expects it to be owned and followed by the employees.

Leaders who empower their entire organization to persistently workimagesCACFCKRX towards the fulfillment of the organizational vision and goals not only create a sense of personal value to the organization’s stakeholders but also intensify their feeling of being an important part of something – part of the community. These truly servant leaders know that by supporting their employees’ growth while fulfilling the organization’s goals they create a positive force of appreciation, loyalty as well as a culture of discipline. Discipline to do what needs to be done and to put short-sighted or even selfish needs aside for the greater good – the bigger picture.

Great leaders knows that if they want more they need to give more and by their own actions they inspire their organization to do the same – one step at the time and then yet another. The foolproof roadmap to Success.

Forgiveness is the highest form of love

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another, creating wounds that in someforgive instances go very deep. These wounds can easily leave you with feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance. Thing is, if you don’t practice forgiveness you may be the one who pays the highest price. By embracing forgiveness you embrace inner peace, faith, love and gratitude.

To practise forgiveness in a certain situation demands an active decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. It doesn’t mean that you excuse the act – everyone has responsibility for their own actions, good or bad – it simply means that you choose to focus on the positive parts of your life. And strange as it may seem, sometimes forgiveness leads to some understanding and compassion for the one who hurt you. At times it may even lead to a deeper more loving relationship between the two individuals involved, the bond has grown stronger.

Action from inside out

Leadership, business and relationships are all about trustworthiness, about being reliable. It’s about competency and character. It’s no secret that most individuals choose to follow the leader who has managed to combine these two and by that create a imagesCAFE6D2Vsense of trust and reliability. However, in order for us to become trustworthy leaders we first and foremost must really know ourselves – our own personal values – and what we want. You need to be able to lead yourself before you can lead others wisely. It’s about action from inside out.

Before you successfully can lead others through good and bad times though, you need to truly know who you are and what you want. Ask yourself questions, the right kind of questions that’ll ensure that you’ll get to the core of what you truly stand for. The ability to ask the right kind of questions are just as important as the capability of finding the right answers. When our priorities are in harmony with our personal values we not only set the foundation for a stronger sense of satisfaction with ourselves and our lives but we also achieve a sense of personal strength and inner security– the kind that people notice and feel “safe” with and to follow. The kind of leader that people get inspired by and want to follow.

Great leaders know themselves – they lead from their values and visions. Everyone needs a vision for their life – a clear image of a desirable future. The creative process during which our vision takes form imagesCAZTIOLHacts as catalyst for our future and an inspiring vision based on guiding values gives us a sense of purpose, something to work towards.

Great leaders also create a shared vision for their organization’s development. In this vision they coordinate and direct their employees focus towards the shared projects. It is when everyone is moving towards the same direction that great results are accomplished. By involving your employees in the process of creating the organization’s vision – with grounds from a solid foundation of organizational values – your employees will feel a greater sense of understanding and ownership of the vision’s purpose and implementation.

The process of creating an organizational culture based on values and visions takes time. It also requires leaders who not only lead from their heart but also have a great sense of integrity, communications skills, a desire for cooperation and the ability to keep a sense of simplicity. As a leader, it’s your responsibility to demonstrate to your employees the importance of your organization’s values and vision – “walk the talk”. It’s also you that needs to show the connection between the values, the vision, the organization’s goals and your employees’ individual goals. However, in successfully managing to do so, you ensure that the entire organization work towards the same destination – creating the future that you want.

Define your personal values in life – what’s important and less important to you? Reflect on how your personal values affect you in your life and in your leadership – are you working to get a pay-check or for a purpose? What kind of human being and leader do you want to be? How do you want your fellow human beings and employees to describe you? What are your weaknesses and strengths? What kind of development do you need in order for you to become the best you want to and can be? How do you envision your future? If you could mould the future for yourself what would it look like?

“Do you wish for…

...kindness? Be kind.
Do you ask for truth? Be true.
What you give of yourself you find;
Your world is a reflex of you.”
– James Allen

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Life: Acceptance

I’ve come to discover that when one in a discussion brings up the subject – or suggestion – of acceptance, most people react negatively. A lot of individuals see acceptance as something that isn’t good. Some mean that we can not possibly “sit down, relax and accept things” in an “always on demand and connected” society were everything is changing so very fast and when there still is so much in need of acceptance_hto2008further change. Many others respond with asking what seem to be the most important question “well, if someone hurt you or harm someone you love should you then just accept what has happened and maybe even worse, forgive that person?!”. I understand these reactions as they are very legitimate. Acceptance can be kind of scary. That is, in the beginning of ones practise. In the beginning it can be difficult to let go of control of – or on trying to control – that which you know might have an impact on your life. It can be really difficult not to try and steer things, people or events in a, by you, desired direction.

Being in control – or rather the feeling of not being in control – and it’s impact on our behaviours is a phenomena widely studied. The feeling of not being in control of whatever it is that an individual feels not being in control of, has been scientifically sfull-yellow-flower-in-stone-wallhown to be a trigger for not only addictions like alcohol, drugs and sex but for illnesses such as anorexia nervosa, anorexia bulimia and other illnesses with distorted body images (like obsessive exercising or dieting among healthy individuals with normal bodyweight) as well.

People feel lack of control in such variety of areas that it is almost overwhelming – with everything ranging from money issues, work issues, relationship issues to health issues and so on. And the amazing thing is that when one of these areas seems to be “in control” or feels like it, most individuals direct focus on another area where there is a perceived lack of control – and unconsciously use that as a trigger, or “excuse” to continue with the damaging behaviour. We are acting like the hamster on a wheel!

It’s worth to mention that some people do not “act out” when in a situation where they experience lack of control but in fact do not act at all. Instead they might feel, and usually openTo complain is always non-acceptance of what isly declare, themselves as “victims of the circumstances” with no power what so ever to change the situation, or they might simple feel overly helpless and become totally passive. Regardless of how one might react and feel when one experiences lack of control, the above explained is not the same thing as the meaning I am putting on the practise of “acceptance”. What I am talking about is a mindful approach to acceptance.

Let me explain further. We all know that life‘s complicated, hard, messy and even painful at times. At some point(s) we get so knocked down at what we are faced with that we don’t even know how to – or even if we want to – get up and move on. There’s no denying or getting around that. Facts are though that most of us – and bless the ones who did or choose not to – do get up. But many do not move on! There are so many individuals whom gotten stuck somehow in Now, yesterday, and tomorrow words on blackboard, Time concept.those feelings of pain, suffering, resentment and the likes. In other words, although the situation has changed on the outside, it’s still the same on the inside as it was when these individuals first encountered that event, thing or person that triggered it all. They are (un)consciously holding onto a feeling which doesn’t make them feel better but worse. And in some instances this turns into a pattern, which is where the ‘danger’ lies in it.

By holding onto feelings of pain, suffering, resentment and so on, we expose ourselves to the risk of these feelings turning into pure suffering. We are in other words causing ourselves to suffer! (Un)consciously. I know some may object to this and claim that “but it wasn’t my fault, (s)he did this and that, this happened to me, etc.”. And yes, you might be very right! Or not!

Presume that we are victims of circumstances – which I for the record do not believe   myself as I think of us all as spiritual co-creators of our life in one way or another and more or less. Anyway, even as victims of some really nasty circumstances that totally knocks us off our feet and turns our world around to the almost unrecognizable and even less bearable, we do have within us the power and blessing to choose not only how we will react to it but also for how long it is going to have such (huge or small) impact on our life. And of course this is individually!

acceptanceSo what can one do about it? Well, the answer is simple but putting it into action might not always be that easy. It works however and it is in my opinion the only way to move on. Acceptance. Act on that which you in fact can change and accept that which you can not! Some things, many things, are totally out of our control no matter how much we in one way or another try holding on to controlling it. And it doesn’t matter what the objectives are, we still can not control it. By accepting this, and I mean truly intensely accepting it, we free ourselves from a sometimes very heavy burden. We free ourselves from suffering. We move from that which belongs to the Past, embrace our Present – the Now – and creates possibilities for a glorious Future.

the past is goneWe can never change what has happened in the past and we know nothing at all of what the future has in store for us. But it is in the now that we can fully live by accepting that we are not to control or be controlled. We are to live, learn and fully love! I most definitely know that life is really hard and painful at times and that it can be, and feel, utterly impossible to even gain the strength to breathe. It is true though that wisdom comes through struggle – it may sound like a bad cliché but in most cases it is in fact correct. That wisdom is gained at the moment you stop struggling and instead accept what is.

In his book The Art of Happiness, Dalai Lama states that Image1I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warm hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.” Beautifully said.

…blessed encounters ♥

Yesterday a loved one of mine shared a recording with me, featuring the talented Jack Kornfield who was talking about relationships. Listening to his wisdom got me thinking about how in fact each and every being that we encounter in our personal and professional lives are a blessed such.

blessingMr Kornfield discussed the different kinds of relationships we have in our lives and the different way they help us to evolve on our spiritual journey. I was fascinated to hear his definition on what he believes is needed in order for a love relationship to be one that helps the two parties involved grow in all areas and not only as a couple but also individually. I most definitely agree with his point of view – and his definition on a truly successful relationship – as I am a strong believer of that the individuals we encounter on our life’s road are sent our way for a specific reason, to in one way or another give us the opportunity to further spiritual growth.

Sometimes we sadly are too occupied with other things to even notice these spiritual teachers and other times we simply recognize them at once. Some of these individuals make a huge impact on our heart and soul and therefore stay in our life for a long period time – maybe even until we pass away, or pass on – while others only crosses our path very briefly. With some of these individuals we may find a friendship attraction and with others a romantic attraction. With some the attraction might be a sexual one and yet with others it may solely be a spiritual one.

happy togetherHowever, once or a few more times in our lifetime we encounter an individual with whom we find an attraction that reaches over all of the four mentioned areas. An attraction that brings with it a close and loving relationship that deepens the friendship as well as the individuals romance and sexual experiences together – their intimacy – as they evolve and explore their spiritual connection as a couple and individually.

It’s always a beautiful encounter when both parties recognize the divine opportunity given and are not only willing but also eager to explore all aspects of life together – each open to individual spiritual lessons and knowledge but always shared with one another. Soulmates maybe? …crossing eachothers path in one lifetime to another? Well, who knows but our God. A blessing it is however as such a intimate and spiritually growing relationship with another human being truly is the most precious gift there is and such a divine gift from our Lord is to be carefully and tenderly cherished…not to prove ourselves presently unworthy of such a gift. God´s grace is good♥

“When you truly find love, you find yourself. Therefore the path to love isn’t a choice, for all of us must find out who we are. This is our spiritual destiny. The path can be postponed; you can lose faith in it or even despair that love exists at all. None of that is permanent; only the path is. Doubt reflects the ego, which is bound in time and space; love reflects God, eternal divine essence. The ultimate promise on the path to love is that you will walk in the light of a truth extending beyond any truth your mind presently knows. Love never forces. Love is intelligent and brings only what you need. Love can heal. Love can renew. Love can make us safe. Love can inspire us with its power. Love can bring us closer to God.” – Deepak Chopra

“Happiness…

…resides not in possessions and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul”, said Democritus.coffee-smile

Finding your true purpose is the most important challenge you will take in your life. Every single step on the way will make you feel empowered as you move closer towards that of which God intended you to do and experience. And the closer you get to know God and feel the Divine – that intense connection with something greater, that which make you feel the Truth deep in your soul – the more you will come to understand your true purpose of this life you’ve been given. I know this whole concept might be mind and life altering but I believe it to be absolutely true. When you find your true purpose in this life and that close “communication” with God, it will also make you positively connect to the collective consciousness – that of which we all are part of and consequently are affected by.

The power of true faith

faithA couple of nights ago I was listening to a seminar with Dr. Wayne Dyer – who by the way is one of my favourite writers as well as spiritual teachers as he is truly inspiring, sharp and has a great deal of self distance. Dr Dyer was talking about manifesting. He was basically and how we as co-creative human beings have the power within us to create not only what we want but also, in a greater perspective, the peaceful world many wish to have.

For someone new to the subject talking about manifesting might of course sound somewhat overwhelming and for others even like a matter that is being very untrue or unrealistic. As a matter of fact, it actually made me laugh when I listened to Mr Dyer tell the story about a reaction he got on one of his seminars about manifestation as he said that:

 “On a seminar I held I had this woman there who obviously did NOT know what she signed up on. After me giving my introduction I heard this lady in the back row ´-OMG this is just what I need. Two days with Mr Positive. And I’m gonna have to listen to him tell me that whatever I need I just have to ask for it`.”

I recognize that kind of reaction and I absolutely understand it. For someone who might feel that things are barely or never “going his or her way” it really sound like a utopia that thoughts become truths. I’ve been there. However,  it actually is that simple.

When you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change.

As someone always connected to God you can really create the life you want. We all have the capability to create more peace within our selves, not only in a spiritual perspective but also in a quantum scientific perspective. Each and every one of us, as pieces of this conscious “whole” – as pieces of God – also have within us the capacity to create what we want for ourselves and others. In unity we can do so much, not only for ourselves but for the world – this planet – as whole, by our own example to other who do not believe in us as “one”.
In order for you to manifest something into your life you need to realize that wishing is just not enough. You need to ask, with a passionate will. Ask God or whatever God standsfor, for you, as asking is a necessary step in receiving. We all know it “ask…and you shall receive”. Learn to put your attention on what you want, be passionate about asking for it – independably on what others might think – and you will receive it. We all have the ability to manifest as, as Deepak Chopra put it,

the power to manifest is based on the biological functions supporting our need for survival.”

Remember though that what you really  do not want, you will also get. That’s logical. Whatever you put your intention on in life you will get. What you think about is what will expand – “as you think so shall you be”. There’s an abundance of disciplines pointing out the power of thoughts as an amazing force to create into the material world. This is why if your inner energy is on what you don’t want, then what you don’t want is what you will manifest into your life. So, shift your focus instead to what you do want and that’s what you will receive.

I have never listened to anyone out there telling me what to feel or do – well I listen as I’m polite about it – but I’ve left the tribe. I’ve left the tribe a long time ago. They don’t know I’ve left. They still send me invitation to all the tribal functions. And I rarely attend. They explain that away by saying ´-oh that’s Wayne, that’s just how he is, you know how he is, you can’t tell him anything´ and that’s fine.” – Wayne Dyer