I’ve come to realize that…

…there’s an tremendeous truth in the words of Viktor Frankl as he stated that “when we are faced with something we can not change, we are challenged to change ourselves.” There is absolutely no valid reason to struggle or fight against or for something as everything already exists within you and everything already is exactly as it is supposed to be – just being right, right now. It is a changequotechallenge to not struggle, to not try and control – force – things and to just let go without losing faith. It’s difficult to love and let this love go to where (s)he needs to in order to grow – yet it is the most profound gesture of love that one can show.

It’s heartbreaking to loose a loved one in any kind of way but somehow it’s also very comforting and beautiful to know that we are simply just spiritual beings currently living in a human (or other) skin and that we, by this, will soon cross paths again and again and again. There is no true separation – there is merely different roads that leads to the same end destination and although we choose to travel on these different roads, in the end, we will always end up being together. We are soulmates and that is why I so very well recognized my loved ones at once, why I did not need to spend time getting to know them – we’ve already met and been together many times before, in other shapes, forms and lifetimes – but simply just embraced the blessing of once again being given the wonderful opportunity to together grow spiritually. I don’t need time to get to know you my love – I already do because we’ve been together for so long and so many times! I just simply needed to find you again and …look, there you are baby!! As beautiful as always.

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.” – Richard Bach

I had a quantum moment some days ago. You know, one of those moments that comes through a sense of energy, an inner knowingness, an answer or in some other kind of ways when you simply feel, can identify oChange-Quoter “just know” that you’ve reached divine contact – this insight that suddenly has been imparted to you at the most perfect (often unexpected) time as an answer to a question you might not even be aware that you’ve asked. I simply love when this happens to me! Not only because these moments often completely change my view on something or about someone but also because they are very likely to be life-changing! I read once that “spiritual progress is not usually experienced as some event-changing shift but it is a gradual awakening composed of many shifts and realizations” and that’s exactly what these sudden moments of huge insight are – steps on the spiritual path. Quantum moments always reminds me of how amazing God’s grace works – things never are what they seem and the most unexpected always happens, as surprise (spiritual) gifts from God!

My mentioned quantum moment led me to a deep realisation that I had done a loved one wrong. This sudden insight of my own behaviour and actions made me feel ashamed and…not-so-good, mostly because I strongly believe that we should always and in all ways show the greatest compassion, deepest love and never-ending faith and loyalty towards our most loved ones and I felt that I had failed that – deeply. However, with nothing but loving thoughts in my mind and a great deal of faith in that “all is and always will be as it’s supposed to’”, I summoned up some courage and apologized to my loved one whom – as the most fascinating spiritual being he is – responded most gently with two simple words. Which, probably needless to say, makes me adore him even more! Anyway, in having my “moment” I reflected once again on how truly fantastic the divine, God or whoever/whatever definition you want to use, see to it that our past issues exist in order to support us on our spiritual path to a higher consciousness.

Everything we are or do in the Now is a result of the one we were or what we’ve done in the Past and it all gives us the opportunity to be or do better in our Tomorrow. There is a divine perfection in all and everything that ensures that we are given the chance to grow and fulfill the purpose for which we are intended. Nothing happens by accident and I find comfountitled changert in the knowledge that when we are faced with situations which we might have little or no control over, it is something which we ourselves should learn from it all. In other words, we are not powerless victims faced with an uncontrolled situation but powerful beings faced with yet another opportunity to take an honest look “inside”, learn and grow from our participation in and (re)action to/from the situation. Viktor Frankl called this “the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances“.

We are all divine beings and we all have all the qualities, the capabilities, the perfection as well as the imperfection to do and become everything that we are meant to – to share of our unique creation to the world – and at any given moment, in any given situation, we are blessed with the opportunity to do so. When you think of someone you love in this perspective – or all other spiritual beings for that matter, including yourself – how can you not feel love and only love for his/hers/its/yours entire being, with (im)perfections and all? …divine creations…just as God intended.

Forgiveness is the highest form of love

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another, creating wounds that in someforgive instances go very deep. These wounds can easily leave you with feelings of anger, bitterness and even vengeance. Thing is, if you don’t practice forgiveness you may be the one who pays the highest price. By embracing forgiveness you embrace inner peace, faith, love and gratitude.

To practise forgiveness in a certain situation demands an active decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. It doesn’t mean that you excuse the act – everyone has responsibility for their own actions, good or bad – it simply means that you choose to focus on the positive parts of your life. And strange as it may seem, sometimes forgiveness leads to some understanding and compassion for the one who hurt you. At times it may even lead to a deeper more loving relationship between the two individuals involved, the bond has grown stronger.

10 Habits of Happy Couples

According to recent research happy couples are having different habits than unhappy couple. I’m not sure if I buy into that entire but either way, I do believe that a good marriage – or any relationship – requires working on. Communicating love and respect. Always and forever. However, “the 10 habits”-list (from Dr. Mark Goultson in Psychology Today) can definitely serve as inspiration and maybe even a reminder to each and every one of the kind of things that we sometimes might forget or neglect to do as couples.

“1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that youcouplevalley have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she happyelderlycoupledoes right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work Our skin has  a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

happy-vert9. Do a “weather” check during the day Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.”

Meaningful Relationships

MIs it possible to have a meaningful intimate relationship with someone if you do not know how to relate to yourself? Personally I don’t think it is. I love these words of wisdom from an author that I unfortunately do not know the name of – I found the quote in an old notebook of mine.

“Most people in our society share a peculiar belief: We imagine that we should be able to establish a rich and satisfying relationship with someone we love even if we have never learned to relate to ourselves in a rich, satisfying way. We imagine that a successful relationship largely depends on finding the right person and doing the right things. We often don’t see that how we relate to another is an expression of how we relate to ourselves, that our outer relationships are but an extension of our inner life, that we can only be as open and present with another as we are with ourselves.

Never before have intimate relationships called on us to face ourselves and each other with so much honesty and awareness. Maintaining an alive connection with an intimate partner today challenges us to free ourselves from old habits and blind spots, and to develop the full range of our powers, sensitivities, and depths as human beings. In former times, if people wanted to explore the deeper mysteries of life, they would often enter the seclusion of a monastery or hermitage. For many of us today, however, intimate relationships have become the new wilderness that brings us face to face with all our gods and demons.”

 

Faith or foolishness?

Is it possible to have too much faith? To be too courageous? Where does the line go between being very courageous and being plain foolish? And what defines foolishness?

A very brave friend of mine arplan lifee about to embark on a adventurous and most likely life-changing journey.  This journey has been planned for quite some time, with careful considerations to all that might or might not happen, or develop, as a result of it. However, what was by him before thought of as a pretty normal event with all that naturally happens in the course of a relationship – yes, we are talking about a lovers situation here – this “journey” has turned into a drama of its own and the events now unfolded  as led him to reflect great deal on the subjects of having faith, being courageous or being plain foolish.

Not long ago his plans seemed like a great idea. As a matter of fact he felt that it seemed as an incredible, fun, exciting and amazing opportunity. A blessing from the Divine that could lead him to fantastic never-before-experienced things and to a life with the woman of his dreams. However, by unseemed actions – at least for him – things have surfaced that indicates that this “fun, exciting and amazing opportunity” that he expected might not happen the way he planned it to. My question, does it ever?

“Although individuals around me smile and tell me – or my loved ones remind me – of how ‘courageous’ I (supposedly) am, so often daring to do what many wouldn’t, their words of encouragement is not working on me this time. In fact, I do not feel courageous at all….I feel totally lost.”

My friend explained to me how he’d felt about this change in course – expressing feelings of confusion, discouragement and more importantly a sense of being lost. He’d even questioned his courage – wondering if he had not just been plain foolish and blind, not courageous.

tumblr_ms8u1cjo0v1rtqolxo1_1280To me courage is daring to follow your heart’s desire, the path of your soul and having faith in that everything will work out to the best – in a greater perspective. Courage is what makes people go against the mainstream and follow their inner voice – or the guidance of the Divine source – in order to grow spiritually. Courage is what makes us take a huge leap of faith and follow our hearts desire when meeting the (wo)man of our dreams in order to pursue our relationship – even if, as my friend and his lover, you are living in different parts of the world. Courage is what makes us try new or different things, or walk on to unknown paths, although feeling afraid, just to be able to grow in one way or another. Courage is to be truly scared but still move ahead.

It makes me think about what some individuals are prepared to in order to fulfill their deepest dreams! Their courage, strength and faith is beautiful and it warms my heart simply thinking about it! Especially when they are determined to turn something that can be perceived as a “tough situation” into a golden moment of opportunity. I love that!

“The optimist refuses to believe that the road ends without options” – Robert H. Schuller.

One thing is clear to me though. Although we’re told by society that we are frail and powerless beings who live in a world where things just “happen” for no apparent reason, I am confident that our existence – as our most ancient and cherished spiritual traditions tell us – is based on a Divine force that lives within each and every one of us. A power that nothing in the world can touch. And for my friend there’s some – to him at this point unknown and unforeseeable – reason he’s supposed to do this. All the signs still points him towards it. Yes, there’s no denying that his situation has gone from a being “a prospective wonderful amazing God-given opportunity to a life in total bliss” (his words) to a complete turnaround into a somewhat frightening and lonely road.

6My friend is still guided to go through with it. And with restored faith in great things ahead, he surely will. It’s not going to be the way he wished or planned for, that’s clear. But with the determination to make the best he can out of the current situation, I am absolutely convinced he’ll experience a journey beyond his imagination. In other words, better than anything he ever could have planned. I know from my own experiences that it is only by the courageous leaps I’ve taken that I’ve gotten to not only encounter the most amazing individuals, but also experience truly fascinating spiritual journeys. Having faith and leaving the rest in God’s hands, that is the most courageous thing you can do.

The things that are going on right now in my friends life right now makes me think of the words of Gibran who in his classic book “The Prophet” reminds us of what it means to have a great gift and to know that it’s power is already within us. Gibran writes that “no man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.” In other words, we can’t be taught what we don’t already know as we came into the world already knowing how to use our beliefs and I find that to be so very true. We ourselves have the power to rewrite our own code of reality. It’s just a matter of choice of how we want our life to be! Isn’t that an amazing blessing from the Divine?! I truly think so!

Gibran’s thought aren’t something new – in fact, his book was published in the beginning of the 19th century. The same subject has been explored by many mystics in the past. The ancient Sufi poet Jalal ad-Din ar-Rumi describes the irony of our mysterious condition in this world by stating that “what strange beings we are that sitting in hell at the bottom of the dark, we’re afraid of our own immortality.” Rumi, as well as many other ancient philosophers, explored the promise of surviving the darkest moments of life and the reassurance that difficult times are only a part of a journey that leads to a place where bad things can’t happen any longer as they reflected on “the deepest mysteries of life”. Just as these fascinating individuals, I myself do not believe that we are fragile victims of events that are beyond our control but that we are powerful creators of our own life – if we choose to be! Which leads me back to the beginning…not knowing anything yet knowing it all I could not but encourage my friend to embark on this fascinating, scary and divine journey with faith that it’ll lead to all that he want it to – the fulfillment of his soul’s desire as ones know it.

Through the godlike power of human belief, we are given the equally divine ability to bring what we believe to life in the matrix of energy that bathes and surrounds us.”

“10 Biblical Rules For A Happy Marriage”…or just “common sense when You truly love and care for your spouse and not just your Ego”.

I am amazingly blessed! Yes, I am and I’m not covering it up or being modest about it. On the contrary, I rejoice in God’s Gift to me and in the fact that I am one of those incredibly (few) tumblr_m72dg6dnE41qg89yfo1_500blessed women who are married to a man who’s not only capable of but also willing to be a Man without interference by his Ego. I am talking about a man who’s such Soulful Spiritual Being that he – for most parts (he IS human after all…although sometimes I wonder…) – puts aside all things Egotistical for the Greater Good of Our Relationship, and for Me. Together we are on a Spiritual Journey, always learning and always growing – individually and together.

A fantastic loving and trustful relationship isn’t something that just happen though – it takes passion, compassion, a desire to (re)learn, genuine love and respect for one another, the ability to forgive and forget and probably most of all, honest and respectful COMMUNICATION.

1. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37

2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? – Mark 8:36

a08e6fb903730a630fc009511935c5973. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. – Ephesians 4:26

4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse. Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. – Proverbs 15:4

5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome. Kiss me again and  again, your love is sweeter than wine. – Song of Solomon 1:2

6. “For richer or poorer” – rejoice in every moment that God has given you together. A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. – Proverbs 15:17

7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate. Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. – Proverbs 3:27

8. If they’re breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive. I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him. – Luke 17:3,4

9. Don’t use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. – John 3:17

10. Let love be your guidepost. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Relationships are the gateway to freedom

This morning I read a insightful article that resonated well with my heart and I’d like to share it with you. It’s written by Jafree Ozwald from Enlightened Beings.

“Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction and certainly not in isolation.” J. Krishnamurti

The quality of our relationships is the best guide we have to knowing ourselves. The way we interact, react and respond to others allows us understand where we are at in our soul’s path and evolution. The way we behave with others acts as a mirror for our own consciousness. It reveals the details of the role we believe we are playing in this world, and lets us clearly see our reflection in the mirror. The more aware we are of the mirror that each relationship has, the easier it becomes to change our response, alter the judgment (reflection) we perceive to be there, and then take a more enlightened approach to the image. Ultimately, the relationship mirror is there to create deep insights into ourselves so we can adjust to create a healthier attitude towards life, and manifest a better world for our future. What you see in your relationship mirror each day reveals everything you need to know about yourself. What you like in others is what you believe you are lacking inside yourself. What you don’t like in others is what you are rejecting and denial of inside yourself. It truly is this simple. The more intimate you can become with everyone in your mirror, the more the Universe will reveal to you where it is you are blocked on your journey and how spiritually evolved you actually are.

Through other people we can see every detail of ourselves. We can see which priorities we deem to be sacred, understand the level of attachment and aloofness we have in our love life, see the level of fear and denial that we are dealing with, and discover all the hidden issues we have buried deeper inside. Relationships help us to see the real source of our pain, loneliness, frustration, and of course get a glimpse into the unconditional love that thrives at the core of our being. It is only through diving into this divine multi-dimensional, multi-sensual mirror that the divine supreme consciousness inside our soul can be discovered! Once this pure consciousness is found and brought up through the murky waters into every relationship we have, it paves a path for permanent and total liberation from all forms of suffering that have encaged us in all our lives.relationship

“Residing in the mind is hell, prison. Resting in the heart, in love is heaven, freedom. We are more free than any thought conceived of what defines freedom. Who we are is far more vast than anything the mind thinks we are.” ~Angela Walker

Real poverty in life does not come from a lack of financial abundance, energy or creativity. Poverty stems from an avoidance and neglect of looking at who you are in this relationship mirror. Whenever we get into the habit of blaming anything outside ourselves for our unhappiness, we cannot really know why we are unhappy. When we are not using the relationship reflection to see into the truth of who we are being, we cannot develop our most enlightened character that we can imagine becoming on life’s stage.

The richest person in this world is the one who is the most free. This level of freedom in life comes not from a freedom that can be taken away from, yet from simply embracing and accepting wholeheartedly what is seen in the relationship mirror. The wise person has a respect for the feedback found in the reflection, and a state of gratitude for it, no matter how depressing the image may seem to be. There is an equanimity in the mind with where things are at because they can see the bigger picture of life’s journey. This truly enriched enlightened being has developed the habit of approaching others without judgment, fear or manipulation. They simply honor each person as a teacher who was sent to guide the soul back to Source in the most unique and unsuspecting way.

One of the most interesting insights I’ve had in my life was around about how the world actually is and how it sometimes appears to be. The World is this highly intelligent and perfectly organized field of conscious energy, which can appear to be dark, messy, harsh, unjust and abusive. It has both polarities at all times, and when this is realized the mind is not so easily tempted to believe there is only one side. When this enlightening thought hit me it became crystal clear how the Universe is always in a karmically divine order and is constantly in balance within itself. It is never off balance, ever. It only seems to be lacking balance and order when we have a narrowed mind and one-sided perspective.

“The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.” ~Osho

When we remove the blinds we can revel in the glory of this sweet unsolvable mystery that is meant to keep us living freely on the edge of the unknown. By welcoming this succulent mystery of the relationship mirror everyday, we can see all three sides of the coin and truly be free. We can know who we spiritually are and start dancing beneath the stars without a care in the world. We can stop to relax and bathe in the Sun’s warm sunshine, enjoy the fluttering of a butterfly passing by, and feel the cool breeze glide across our face as we interact with our community from a place of understanding, lightness, awareness and compassion.

In our most enlightened space, we are constantly choosing to feel accept, love and appreciate ourselves exactly the way we are. This self-loving energy is then reflected outwards, onto everyone else in the world, giving them the feeling of self-acceptance exactly as they are. When we are abiding in this deep state of acceptance, we can find every experience to be exquisitely enlightening. We greet each experience with an open state of outer curiosity and inner self-enquiry. We constantly balance upon the edge of what we know and don’t know to be true.

relationshipIt is this inquisitive state of mind that pushes us to reach into the spiritual depths of the heart and discover the most magnificent home that is within our innermost being. By simply abiding in a state of wonder we can know how easy it is to evolve in consciousness, and every day discover a joyous heart in our chest overflowing with gratitude and love. This is the only way we can truly transcend all the suffering created in the mind.

During your day, whenever you can, stop to take a good long look inside yourself. Notice if either you have a heart filled with peace, or a mind caught in some whirlwind of thinking. It’s either one or the other, never do they both exist together. It’s like water and oil, they remain distinct and separate yet can appear to be mixed. When you’re looking inside, if you don’t like what you find, remember that you are the highest authority of your life! You are The Great Divine Master of your inner world. You have the power to make it into a heaven or a hell, and it’s all depending on one little thing. How connected are you with your heart. By forming a practice of creating a cozy sweet nest which you can feel is “home sweet home” within your heart, your journey through life will never feel cold, dark, lonely or fearful. Instead you will always have light and warmth wherever you are.

“And this is a miracle: the moment that you realize that there is no way to make a home, then this whole existence is home. Then wherever you are, you are at home.” ~Course in Miracles

Relationships are designed to not turn out the way we think they should because they are meant to make you grow in the most miraculous ways. The enlightened path of relationship is the path to total freedom because it throws us into the greatest spiritual journey of our lives. Relationships are the advanced life mastery course of life, they are the most ultimate challenge we can take. When we open up to explore a deep intimate relationship with someone, we have to look at ourselves in the spiritual mirror. The deeper we go, the more we will learn. Even if the relationship fizzles out in a week, falls through the cracks in a few months, or ends in devastating divorce after years, we are always given the gift of freedom in the end. The feeling of total liberation hits us like a gentle feather or a brick, depending on if we looked into the mirror and discovered this divine succulent spiritual truth of who we really are along the way.

Perhaps the greatest tip I’ve found in creating a healthy loving relationship is first knowing exactly what will ruin it. It’s important to know that the very moment you stop enjoying your relationship, you are starting to destroy it. You’ll also kill any relationship by imposing your ideas about how the other should and should not be. If you don’t tell the whole truth, hide your feelings, and don’t be impeccable with your word you’ll squeeze the life out of it. If you hide, play emotionally small, think small thoughts, and don’t ever take a risk to be real they cannot respect you and will one day walk away. If you can never apologize for anything, they will always be at a distance for you. The secret is doing the opposite of each of these things. We all deserve some room to make mistakes in life, and yet if you are spending years feeling stuck in your relationship, you’re not taking the time to look at the reflection in the mirror that’s right in front of you.

“The day on which we come to know the supreme consciousness within us, then the outside world will also appear to us like the expanse of the supreme consciousness. The whole will be a mirror to us when we become a mirror within.” ~Osho

theme_relationshipsThe last insight that I wish to share with you today, may be one of the greatest secrets to mastering relationships of them all. This is about knowing how to distinguish and interact with the two types of people in life. There are those who feed you, and those who feed off of you. People will either try to inspire you and lift you up, or devour your energy and pull you down. Many people out there aren’t yet conscious about how they are relating to you, nor the impact they have upon you. They live too close to their mind and cannot see the reflection in the mirror. The responsibility then is yours if you are falling prey to someone who pulls you down each day. Notice how do you respond when this someone is pulling your energy down? Why do you respond the way you do? Once you are able to respond with respect for yourself and never let anyone pull you down into the emotional dumpster with them, you have mastered one of the greatest lessons in this life.

In the end, we are each the ultimate authorities of what we manifest in our lives. We are each responsible for enjoying the people we bring into our homes, and responsible for the way we allow them to treat us. We are responsible if others can enjoy us, or feel forced to run away from us. We are the real authority. The greatest relationship is with ourselves. The other is there so our soul is pushed deeper, and we stop pointing the finger at the outer world for our lack of love or power. The connection with our own soul is where the gold is at, and this happens simply by turning our attention towards no other direction than the central heart of our being.

The heart is the answer to all our problems in life. We did not come to Earth to micromanage our lives, achieve our goals, reach to the top, or fix our broken self-esteem. Our mission here is much simpler and sweeter than this. We are here to abide in the heart, transcend the ego, find our real spiritual path and ascend into each day with pure unconditional love from our soul. We were born to discover that who we truly are is beyond the form and the formless. We are here to remember that we are timeless spiritual beings who do not die. We came here to embody this sweet sacred knowing and develop an everyday understanding that eternity is our natural state of being. This is why we are here, and understanding this in relationship brings about the gateway to freedom.

Monday wisdom: Simple Rules For a Happy Life

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Wednesday’s wisdom – Be present

“The only way to get over the past is to leave it behind. If you spend your time re-living moments that are gone forever, you might miss the special moments that are yet to come.” – Susan Gale

Precious moments

Last night…

…I was reading the beautifully written book “What about love” by Gina Lake and, must I say, it was very interesting reading. As a matter of fact, as I was reading I caught myself nodding agreeable to the insights shared by the author! I remembered why I so long ago found this book to be such a sweet source of inspiration on how to truly evolve a loving relationship and I’d like to share an excerpt from the book with you. Enjoy and be inspired:-)

“[…]Judgment is probably the most destructive force in relationships. It maintains ego identification, which is incompatible with love and relationship. Judgment is the primary way the ego sustains its sense of being separate and superior. The ego puffs itself up through comparisons and judgments of others. It makes itself better than others by hauling out a rule or a conditioned belief that proves its superiority. Relationships can’t thrive in such an environment.

Judgment and criticism prevent love from flowering and kill it if it’s already there. No one could possibly match every idea we have for our ideal partner because many of our ideas are unrealistic and contradictory. Even if someone has the qualities we’re looking for, we still have no control over how or when they are expressed. For instance, you may love it that your partner is adventuresome, but you don’t want that quality showing up when the taxes need to be done. Or you may love it that your partner loves to cook, until you realize that cooking and eating is all you ever do together.

It’s not enough for someone to have all the right qualities if he or she doesn’t express them as we would like. It’s also not enough for someone to have all the right qualities if he or she doesn’t feel the same way about us! Finding a partner with all the right qualities, which are primarily features of the personality, just isn’t enough to make a relationship work. The ego has its list of qualities and attributes it wants in a partner and in a relationship. To the ego, these seem to be reasonable and useful criteria for relationship. The ego can’t imagine being in love with someone who doesn’t fulfil most of its criteria.

The ego is so sure of what it needs in relationship, and it probably does need these things to be comfortable and as happy as it can be in relationship.Nevertheless, meeting the ego’s criteria isn’t enough to bring real happiness because its criteria are too narrow and shortsighted. The ego lacks the vision to understand what is necessary for real happiness. It knows only what it wants, according to its conditioning, and those desires are its basis for relationship. When we are identified with the ego, being around others brings out judgments. Because the ego feels separate from others, it needs to feel superior to feel safe, so it sizes up the competition and brings the competition down to size by judging. Bringing the competition down to size allows the ego to relax a little in the company of others, but at a great cost, because there’s no joy in maintaining this position.

Making others small makes us feel very small and only increases our need to feel better than others. This strategy actually backfires and leaves us all the more entrenched in the egoic state of consciousness, which is a state of contraction—of feeling small and impotent. So the more we judge, the more we feel the need to judge. But judging never gets us the peace or love we long for. The inability to resolve differences causes many relationships to crumble, either slowly or quickly.

Judgment undermines relationship little by little (or more quickly), but the result is the same—the demise of the relationship. A little bit of ongoing judgment is just as bad as a lot of it, because, over time, it’s enough to kill a relationship. Judgment is more pernicious than we would like to think. It seems rather innocuous in minor doses or over small matters, but like poison, a little is enough to kill when administered repeatedly over time. Not only is it not our business to change others, but it’s also harmful to relationships to try to do so. Ideas are just not worth the price paid in love lost.

Love is more important than any conditioned idea or belief, but if you take your conditioning more seriously than love, you will lose love. The other person will withhold love from you because it will be too painful for him or her to love you. Letting others be here in all their glory (or otherwise) makes it possible to have a relationship with them. However, rather than doing that, we tend to relate to our ideas about them instead of to the reality, not only the reality of what they are actually presenting to us, but also the real reality—their true Self.

The image we have of someone isn’t real—it’s only an image, an idea. To know someone, we have to look deeper, and when we do, we find the same blessed divinity in everyone. It’s not our partner’s responsibility to change just because we have conditioning that demands that. Wanting our partner to change is not enough reason for him or her to change, although the ego thinks it is and tries to manipulate by claiming, “If you loved me, you would change.” If we want a loving relationship, we have to take responsibility for our conditioning and the feelings generated by it, and choose to give up our judgments and attempts to change our partner. When we do this, we discover true love because our partner will love us for being so loving, accepting, and allowing.

Once we drop into Essence and feel love, it seems so easy to love and be at peace. And when we are identified with the ego, it seems so hard to get back to this place of happiness and love. What’s the secret, the key, to moving into Essence from the ego? It’s always a choice. You choose love over whatever the egoic mind is telling you about life, the past, the future, yourself, someone else, or what you should do. You recognize these messages as coming from the ego, and you choose not to listen to them.

The egoic mind takes us away from love. It causes separation. When we feel love, Essence is at work, not the ego. Love is how we can recognize Essence. Likewise, separation, contraction, negativity, and the absence of love is how we can recognize the ego. When we feel these, then we know we are identified and being led by the egoic mind, not Essence. It’s easy to tell when we are aligned with and listening to the ego and when we are aligned with and listening to Essence. One corresponds to the human condition and suffering, and the other to the divine condition and love.

Love isn’t something we can understand because it’s not able to be grasped by the mind. Love is not in the mind’s or the ego’s domain. It’s a quality of Essence—of who we really are—and that is too mysterious for the mind to be able to contemplate. And the mind doesn’t want to. Yet love is where fulfillment lies and why relationships are so important to us. The real you—Essence—is willing to allow the beloved to live life as he or she sees fit. It may ask for what it prefers to have happen (“Would you mind putting these things away, or do you mind if I put them away now?”), but it accepts responsibility for having this preference and doesn’t belittle the beloved in an attempt to get him or her to comply. It doesn’t use judgment and anger as a weapon to manipulate others.

The most fulfilling relationships are ones in which the individuals are fulfilling their life purposes, either jointly or individually. The perfect relationship for you—the one that will make you most happy on the deepest levels—is one that supports what you came into life to do. That is the best basis for relationship.”