Saturday’s Wisdom: Be True To Yourself

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I’ve come to realize that…

…there’s an tremendeous truth in the words of Viktor Frankl as he stated that “when we are faced with something we can not change, we are challenged to change ourselves.” There is absolutely no valid reason to struggle or fight against or for something as everything already exists within you and everything already is exactly as it is supposed to be – just being right, right now. It is a changequotechallenge to not struggle, to not try and control – force – things and to just let go without losing faith. It’s difficult to love and let this love go to where (s)he needs to in order to grow – yet it is the most profound gesture of love that one can show.

It’s heartbreaking to loose a loved one in any kind of way but somehow it’s also very comforting and beautiful to know that we are simply just spiritual beings currently living in a human (or other) skin and that we, by this, will soon cross paths again and again and again. There is no true separation – there is merely different roads that leads to the same end destination and although we choose to travel on these different roads, in the end, we will always end up being together. We are soulmates and that is why I so very well recognized my loved ones at once, why I did not need to spend time getting to know them – we’ve already met and been together many times before, in other shapes, forms and lifetimes – but simply just embraced the blessing of once again being given the wonderful opportunity to together grow spiritually. I don’t need time to get to know you my love – I already do because we’ve been together for so long and so many times! I just simply needed to find you again and …look, there you are baby!! As beautiful as always.

“A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we’re pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we’re two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we’ve found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.” – Richard Bach

I had a quantum moment some days ago. You know, one of those moments that comes through a sense of energy, an inner knowingness, an answer or in some other kind of ways when you simply feel, can identify oChange-Quoter “just know” that you’ve reached divine contact – this insight that suddenly has been imparted to you at the most perfect (often unexpected) time as an answer to a question you might not even be aware that you’ve asked. I simply love when this happens to me! Not only because these moments often completely change my view on something or about someone but also because they are very likely to be life-changing! I read once that “spiritual progress is not usually experienced as some event-changing shift but it is a gradual awakening composed of many shifts and realizations” and that’s exactly what these sudden moments of huge insight are – steps on the spiritual path. Quantum moments always reminds me of how amazing God’s grace works – things never are what they seem and the most unexpected always happens, as surprise (spiritual) gifts from God!

My mentioned quantum moment led me to a deep realisation that I had done a loved one wrong. This sudden insight of my own behaviour and actions made me feel ashamed and…not-so-good, mostly because I strongly believe that we should always and in all ways show the greatest compassion, deepest love and never-ending faith and loyalty towards our most loved ones and I felt that I had failed that – deeply. However, with nothing but loving thoughts in my mind and a great deal of faith in that “all is and always will be as it’s supposed to’”, I summoned up some courage and apologized to my loved one whom – as the most fascinating spiritual being he is – responded most gently with two simple words. Which, probably needless to say, makes me adore him even more! Anyway, in having my “moment” I reflected once again on how truly fantastic the divine, God or whoever/whatever definition you want to use, see to it that our past issues exist in order to support us on our spiritual path to a higher consciousness.

Everything we are or do in the Now is a result of the one we were or what we’ve done in the Past and it all gives us the opportunity to be or do better in our Tomorrow. There is a divine perfection in all and everything that ensures that we are given the chance to grow and fulfill the purpose for which we are intended. Nothing happens by accident and I find comfountitled changert in the knowledge that when we are faced with situations which we might have little or no control over, it is something which we ourselves should learn from it all. In other words, we are not powerless victims faced with an uncontrolled situation but powerful beings faced with yet another opportunity to take an honest look “inside”, learn and grow from our participation in and (re)action to/from the situation. Viktor Frankl called this “the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances“.

We are all divine beings and we all have all the qualities, the capabilities, the perfection as well as the imperfection to do and become everything that we are meant to – to share of our unique creation to the world – and at any given moment, in any given situation, we are blessed with the opportunity to do so. When you think of someone you love in this perspective – or all other spiritual beings for that matter, including yourself – how can you not feel love and only love for his/hers/its/yours entire being, with (im)perfections and all? …divine creations…just as God intended.

“Do you wish for…

...kindness? Be kind.
Do you ask for truth? Be true.
What you give of yourself you find;
Your world is a reflex of you.”
– James Allen

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Servant leadership

As we’re entering into the mid-summer in Texas I’ve been reflectingimagesCAP08KUW back on this year’s experiences and how they have shaped me – and the people I’ve worked together with-  to improve further as human beings and leaders. It’s been a year filled with fascinating events, encounters with countless inspiring individuals and lots of new priceless lessons learned. One of the major things that I’ve noticed during this year is that there’s a larger demand for leaders whom lead from their heart. Leaders who with authenticity, integrity and deep passion are ready to build long-term success from a strong value-grounded foundation. Leaders with the mindfulness to not only see through the shallow facades but also with the courage and strength to go another way against the established culture in order to truly serve others. Genuine – real – servant leaders put others first and realize it’s never ever about “me” but always about “them”.

“Don’t just serve for surface value – spend time to let the seed take root and grow in the heart.” – David Gustafson

We, as a society, need leaders whom combine their ability to create great results with a long-term development of individuals and organizations. We need, and want, leaders whom want and are eager to be part of creating a better future and a higher quality of life in all areas of ones life – the kind of leaders whom have and want to share, inspire, support and serve others in building organizations and a society that enhance our ability for compassion and cooperation. We want leaders who lead by serving others and by “making a difference” in the lives of others. I believe that this is also one of the main “trends” that we will not only see but also establish in the coming year of 2015 –a huge demand for and development of servant leaders.

“And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” – Marianne Williamson

10 Habits of Happy Couples

According to recent research happy couples are having different habits than unhappy couple. I’m not sure if I buy into that entire but either way, I do believe that a good marriage – or any relationship – requires working on. Communicating love and respect. Always and forever. However, “the 10 habits”-list (from Dr. Mark Goultson in Psychology Today) can definitely serve as inspiration and maybe even a reminder to each and every one of the kind of things that we sometimes might forget or neglect to do as couples.

“1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.

2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that youcouplevalley have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she happyelderlycoupledoes right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work Our skin has  a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

happy-vert9. Do a “weather” check during the day Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.”

Betrayal – a matter of growth

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt totally betrayed by someone else? Where you’ve put your time, trust and faith into a relationship – any kind of relationship – with someone just to have them act in a way which you feel is disrespectful to you and abuse of your trust and faith?

trust1To forgive someone who, maybe even intentionally, have done you wrong might be one of the hardest things to do – especially when you’ve put a great deal of love, trust and faith in that individual. I believe most of us have had to face something like that at least once but more likely a few times in our lives. The pain that such perceived betrayal comes with is unspeakable and for many, only second to that of the death of a loved one. Which in a way makes sense  since when faced with such a painful situation you have in fact lost someone – and a relation – that you have held dearly, treasured deeply and have had great faith in. It’s gone – no longer existing. Most times we also instantly feel the need to understand “why?!”

First of all, on the “why?!”-question? Does it matter? No – not unless someone was having a gun held to their or one of their loved ones head. We are all blessed with the freedom of choice and if someone chooses to act in a way that crosses the line – and most of us know where the lintumblr_m5izmtEveK1rtrb2qo1_500e goes, “common sense” – for the benefit of someone or something else obviously more important, then in my point of view I was not valued very highly as an individual. “Why” does not matter at all. What matter is what you choose to do to move forward.

Although I do not find it important to examine the reason the event happened I do believe that it’s necessary to examine your own TRUE feelings about it – to reach out to your higher consciousness. With this I mean that you need to go BEYOND the thoughts that your Ego is creating – like wounded pride or worries about others point of view – and think about your own true feelings about the situation. When you’ve done that it’ll be easy to take the next step – towards forgiveness. At that point you’ll know that you need to do nothing – it’s forgiveness. It is so well put in the ACIM:

“[…] What then takes its place is now the will of God. Forgiveness is still and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspects of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is. Do nothing then, and let forgiveness show you what to do, through Him who is your guide, your Savior and Protector, strong in hope, and certain of your ultimate success.”

With this I am not saying that you should move on with this individual. Only you know if that’s the right thing for you to do. You are the only one who know what the “right” course of action trustis for you, at this time in your life. You should do that which make sure you’ll stay in tune with the Divine as this reasures your path will be one of spiritual growth and connection. And you are not sure what to do – ask for God’s guidance. “If you ask you will receive” – always.

Remember that everything happens for a reason and sometimes God do send you that special someone in order for you to learn the spiritual lessons you need to learn. The most important thing is to stay true to your own spiritual growth and let other deal with theirs. Be thankful however for your good heart and for your faithful trust – it is a blessing from God!♥

“Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.” – Marsha Sinetar

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Faith or foolishness?

Is it possible to have too much faith? To be too courageous? Where does the line go between being very courageous and being plain foolish? And what defines foolishness?

A very brave friend of mine arplan lifee about to embark on a adventurous and most likely life-changing journey.  This journey has been planned for quite some time, with careful considerations to all that might or might not happen, or develop, as a result of it. However, what was by him before thought of as a pretty normal event with all that naturally happens in the course of a relationship – yes, we are talking about a lovers situation here – this “journey” has turned into a drama of its own and the events now unfolded  as led him to reflect great deal on the subjects of having faith, being courageous or being plain foolish.

Not long ago his plans seemed like a great idea. As a matter of fact he felt that it seemed as an incredible, fun, exciting and amazing opportunity. A blessing from the Divine that could lead him to fantastic never-before-experienced things and to a life with the woman of his dreams. However, by unseemed actions – at least for him – things have surfaced that indicates that this “fun, exciting and amazing opportunity” that he expected might not happen the way he planned it to. My question, does it ever?

“Although individuals around me smile and tell me – or my loved ones remind me – of how ‘courageous’ I (supposedly) am, so often daring to do what many wouldn’t, their words of encouragement is not working on me this time. In fact, I do not feel courageous at all….I feel totally lost.”

My friend explained to me how he’d felt about this change in course – expressing feelings of confusion, discouragement and more importantly a sense of being lost. He’d even questioned his courage – wondering if he had not just been plain foolish and blind, not courageous.

tumblr_ms8u1cjo0v1rtqolxo1_1280To me courage is daring to follow your heart’s desire, the path of your soul and having faith in that everything will work out to the best – in a greater perspective. Courage is what makes people go against the mainstream and follow their inner voice – or the guidance of the Divine source – in order to grow spiritually. Courage is what makes us take a huge leap of faith and follow our hearts desire when meeting the (wo)man of our dreams in order to pursue our relationship – even if, as my friend and his lover, you are living in different parts of the world. Courage is what makes us try new or different things, or walk on to unknown paths, although feeling afraid, just to be able to grow in one way or another. Courage is to be truly scared but still move ahead.

It makes me think about what some individuals are prepared to in order to fulfill their deepest dreams! Their courage, strength and faith is beautiful and it warms my heart simply thinking about it! Especially when they are determined to turn something that can be perceived as a “tough situation” into a golden moment of opportunity. I love that!

“The optimist refuses to believe that the road ends without options” – Robert H. Schuller.

One thing is clear to me though. Although we’re told by society that we are frail and powerless beings who live in a world where things just “happen” for no apparent reason, I am confident that our existence – as our most ancient and cherished spiritual traditions tell us – is based on a Divine force that lives within each and every one of us. A power that nothing in the world can touch. And for my friend there’s some – to him at this point unknown and unforeseeable – reason he’s supposed to do this. All the signs still points him towards it. Yes, there’s no denying that his situation has gone from a being “a prospective wonderful amazing God-given opportunity to a life in total bliss” (his words) to a complete turnaround into a somewhat frightening and lonely road.

6My friend is still guided to go through with it. And with restored faith in great things ahead, he surely will. It’s not going to be the way he wished or planned for, that’s clear. But with the determination to make the best he can out of the current situation, I am absolutely convinced he’ll experience a journey beyond his imagination. In other words, better than anything he ever could have planned. I know from my own experiences that it is only by the courageous leaps I’ve taken that I’ve gotten to not only encounter the most amazing individuals, but also experience truly fascinating spiritual journeys. Having faith and leaving the rest in God’s hands, that is the most courageous thing you can do.

The things that are going on right now in my friends life right now makes me think of the words of Gibran who in his classic book “The Prophet” reminds us of what it means to have a great gift and to know that it’s power is already within us. Gibran writes that “no man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.” In other words, we can’t be taught what we don’t already know as we came into the world already knowing how to use our beliefs and I find that to be so very true. We ourselves have the power to rewrite our own code of reality. It’s just a matter of choice of how we want our life to be! Isn’t that an amazing blessing from the Divine?! I truly think so!

Gibran’s thought aren’t something new – in fact, his book was published in the beginning of the 19th century. The same subject has been explored by many mystics in the past. The ancient Sufi poet Jalal ad-Din ar-Rumi describes the irony of our mysterious condition in this world by stating that “what strange beings we are that sitting in hell at the bottom of the dark, we’re afraid of our own immortality.” Rumi, as well as many other ancient philosophers, explored the promise of surviving the darkest moments of life and the reassurance that difficult times are only a part of a journey that leads to a place where bad things can’t happen any longer as they reflected on “the deepest mysteries of life”. Just as these fascinating individuals, I myself do not believe that we are fragile victims of events that are beyond our control but that we are powerful creators of our own life – if we choose to be! Which leads me back to the beginning…not knowing anything yet knowing it all I could not but encourage my friend to embark on this fascinating, scary and divine journey with faith that it’ll lead to all that he want it to – the fulfillment of his soul’s desire as ones know it.

Through the godlike power of human belief, we are given the equally divine ability to bring what we believe to life in the matrix of energy that bathes and surrounds us.”

“10 Biblical Rules For A Happy Marriage”…or just “common sense when You truly love and care for your spouse and not just your Ego”.

I am amazingly blessed! Yes, I am and I’m not covering it up or being modest about it. On the contrary, I rejoice in God’s Gift to me and in the fact that I am one of those incredibly (few) tumblr_m72dg6dnE41qg89yfo1_500blessed women who are married to a man who’s not only capable of but also willing to be a Man without interference by his Ego. I am talking about a man who’s such Soulful Spiritual Being that he – for most parts (he IS human after all…although sometimes I wonder…) – puts aside all things Egotistical for the Greater Good of Our Relationship, and for Me. Together we are on a Spiritual Journey, always learning and always growing – individually and together.

A fantastic loving and trustful relationship isn’t something that just happen though – it takes passion, compassion, a desire to (re)learn, genuine love and respect for one another, the ability to forgive and forget and probably most of all, honest and respectful COMMUNICATION.

1. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37

2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? – Mark 8:36

a08e6fb903730a630fc009511935c5973. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. – Ephesians 4:26

4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse. Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. – Proverbs 15:4

5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome. Kiss me again and  again, your love is sweeter than wine. – Song of Solomon 1:2

6. “For richer or poorer” – rejoice in every moment that God has given you together. A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. – Proverbs 15:17

7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate. Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. – Proverbs 3:27

8. If they’re breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive. I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him. – Luke 17:3,4

9. Don’t use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. – John 3:17

10. Let love be your guidepost. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

“I don’t know…”

“…if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But for what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes – it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, “well, if I’d known better I’d have done better’, and that’s all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, ‘I am sorry’ and then you say to yourself, ‘I am sorry’. If we will hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self. […] The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don’t have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.” – Maya Angelou

 

Precious life

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth — and that we have no way of knowing when our own time is up – that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross