Trusting what is – Patience

One of the  greatest thing I’ve had to work with, for myself, has been patience. I have always been a very impatient person – even when it did not serve me well.

Courageous individuals – leaders – trust. They trust that everything’s exactly as it is supposed to be – they let go. They do not try to control things, events or people. Nor do they force their own ways – swim upstream. They go with the flow – with trust – and find pleasure in it. Trust lies at the core of all our relationships – without, theres is no foundation for growth.

“It’s fine to want things to happen in a proper and timely way. But what if you need to hang in there for several months in your current job before you can move on to a better one.  Now what?

Patience means handling delay, difficulty, or discomfort without getting aggravated. Circumstances are what they are, but patience protects you from their impact like a shock absorber. In contrast, impatience interprets circumstances as you being hindered or mistreated, so you feel frustrated, let down, or annoyed. imagesO6B4MEWVThen insistence comes in: “This must change!” But by definition you can’t fulfill that commandment (otherwise, there’d be nothing to get impatient about). Impatience combines all three ingredients of toxic stress: unpleasant experiences, pressure or urgency, and lack of control.

Impatience with others contains implicit criticism and irritation – and people want to get away from both of these. Just recall how you feel when someone is impatient with you. Or consider how others react when you are impatient with them. Impatience is dissatisfaction; it is resistance to the way it is. Patience senses a fundamental alrightness, the doorway to contentment. Impatience is angry; patience is peaceful. Impatience narrows down onto what’s “wrong,” while patience keeps you wide open to the big picture.

Impatience can’t stand unpleasant feelings; patience helps you tolerate physical and emotional discomfort. Impatience wants rewards now; patience helps you tolerate delayed gratification, which fosters increased success and sense of worth. Patience may seem like a superficial virtue, but actually it embodies a deep insight into the nature of things: they’re intertwining, messy, imperfectible, and usually not about you. Patience also contains a wonderful teaching about desire: wish for something, sure, but be at peace when you can’t have it. Patience knows you can’t make the river flow any faster.

“When you are tempted to lose patience with someone, remember how patient God is with you – all the time.”

“Shut up and listen”

imagesI was listening to a great TED-talk the other day with the fascinating speaker Ernesto Sirolli, “You want to help someone? Shut up and listen!”.

Sirolli was talking about the habit of well-intentioned aid workers (including governments) whom, when they hear about a problem, go straight ahead to fix it. Sirolli means that this is the wrong way to go about fixing a problem as he means that instead of fixing the problem yourself, you empower the ones owning the problem to fix it themselves. Of course! Most people do not listen with the desire to understand – they listen with the intent to reply.  This goes for entrepreneurship and leadership as well!

Leadership is about creating possibilities for each employee to develop their own ability to solve problems, to learn and to grow. It’s about listening to what’s being said and to what’s not – it’s about empowering your employees! However, in order for you to be able to do this effectively there has to exist a mutual respect for each involved parts current experiences and knowledge. This means that we, as leaders, should and need to respect the ones we aim to “help”. It also means that in order for us to tap into each employees own spirit, we have to respect the current state – the ground zero – from which each their individual journey need to start. It is by meeting each person at their individual current level that we can support, inspire and motivate them to unleash the true force of power they have within – and by that grow.

What’s your thoughts on this? What does empowerment mean to you and from where do you start?

Betrayal – a matter of growth

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt totally betrayed by someone else? Where you’ve put your time, trust and faith into a relationship – any kind of relationship – with someone just to have them act in a way which you feel is disrespectful to you and abuse of your trust and faith?

trust1To forgive someone who, maybe even intentionally, have done you wrong might be one of the hardest things to do – especially when you’ve put a great deal of love, trust and faith in that individual. I believe most of us have had to face something like that at least once but more likely a few times in our lives. The pain that such perceived betrayal comes with is unspeakable and for many, only second to that of the death of a loved one. Which in a way makes sense  since when faced with such a painful situation you have in fact lost someone – and a relation – that you have held dearly, treasured deeply and have had great faith in. It’s gone – no longer existing. Most times we also instantly feel the need to understand “why?!”

First of all, on the “why?!”-question? Does it matter? No – not unless someone was having a gun held to their or one of their loved ones head. We are all blessed with the freedom of choice and if someone chooses to act in a way that crosses the line – and most of us know where the lintumblr_m5izmtEveK1rtrb2qo1_500e goes, “common sense” – for the benefit of someone or something else obviously more important, then in my point of view I was not valued very highly as an individual. “Why” does not matter at all. What matter is what you choose to do to move forward.

Although I do not find it important to examine the reason the event happened I do believe that it’s necessary to examine your own TRUE feelings about it – to reach out to your higher consciousness. With this I mean that you need to go BEYOND the thoughts that your Ego is creating – like wounded pride or worries about others point of view – and think about your own true feelings about the situation. When you’ve done that it’ll be easy to take the next step – towards forgiveness. At that point you’ll know that you need to do nothing – it’s forgiveness. It is so well put in the ACIM:

“[…] What then takes its place is now the will of God. Forgiveness is still and quietly does nothing. It offends no aspects of reality, nor seeks to twist it to appearances it likes. It merely looks, and waits, and judges not. He who would not forgive must judge for he must justify his failure to forgive. But he who would forgive himself must learn to welcome truth exactly as it is. Do nothing then, and let forgiveness show you what to do, through Him who is your guide, your Savior and Protector, strong in hope, and certain of your ultimate success.”

With this I am not saying that you should move on with this individual. Only you know if that’s the right thing for you to do. You are the only one who know what the “right” course of action trustis for you, at this time in your life. You should do that which make sure you’ll stay in tune with the Divine as this reasures your path will be one of spiritual growth and connection. And you are not sure what to do – ask for God’s guidance. “If you ask you will receive” – always.

Remember that everything happens for a reason and sometimes God do send you that special someone in order for you to learn the spiritual lessons you need to learn. The most important thing is to stay true to your own spiritual growth and let other deal with theirs. Be thankful however for your good heart and for your faithful trust – it is a blessing from God!♥

“Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.” – Marsha Sinetar

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“10 Biblical Rules For A Happy Marriage”…or just “common sense when You truly love and care for your spouse and not just your Ego”.

I am amazingly blessed! Yes, I am and I’m not covering it up or being modest about it. On the contrary, I rejoice in God’s Gift to me and in the fact that I am one of those incredibly (few) tumblr_m72dg6dnE41qg89yfo1_500blessed women who are married to a man who’s not only capable of but also willing to be a Man without interference by his Ego. I am talking about a man who’s such Soulful Spiritual Being that he – for most parts (he IS human after all…although sometimes I wonder…) – puts aside all things Egotistical for the Greater Good of Our Relationship, and for Me. Together we are on a Spiritual Journey, always learning and always growing – individually and together.

A fantastic loving and trustful relationship isn’t something that just happen though – it takes passion, compassion, a desire to (re)learn, genuine love and respect for one another, the ability to forgive and forget and probably most of all, honest and respectful COMMUNICATION.

1. Never bring up mistakes of the past. Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37

2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? – Mark 8:36

a08e6fb903730a630fc009511935c5973. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry. – Ephesians 4:26

4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse. Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. – Proverbs 15:4

5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome. Kiss me again and  again, your love is sweeter than wine. – Song of Solomon 1:2

6. “For richer or poorer” – rejoice in every moment that God has given you together. A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate. – Proverbs 15:17

7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate. Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. – Proverbs 3:27

8. If they’re breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive. I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him. – Luke 17:3,4

9. Don’t use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer. God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it. – John 3:17

10. Let love be your guidepost. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Relationships are the gateway to freedom

This morning I read a insightful article that resonated well with my heart and I’d like to share it with you. It’s written by Jafree Ozwald from Enlightened Beings.

“Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction and certainly not in isolation.” J. Krishnamurti

The quality of our relationships is the best guide we have to knowing ourselves. The way we interact, react and respond to others allows us understand where we are at in our soul’s path and evolution. The way we behave with others acts as a mirror for our own consciousness. It reveals the details of the role we believe we are playing in this world, and lets us clearly see our reflection in the mirror. The more aware we are of the mirror that each relationship has, the easier it becomes to change our response, alter the judgment (reflection) we perceive to be there, and then take a more enlightened approach to the image. Ultimately, the relationship mirror is there to create deep insights into ourselves so we can adjust to create a healthier attitude towards life, and manifest a better world for our future. What you see in your relationship mirror each day reveals everything you need to know about yourself. What you like in others is what you believe you are lacking inside yourself. What you don’t like in others is what you are rejecting and denial of inside yourself. It truly is this simple. The more intimate you can become with everyone in your mirror, the more the Universe will reveal to you where it is you are blocked on your journey and how spiritually evolved you actually are.

Through other people we can see every detail of ourselves. We can see which priorities we deem to be sacred, understand the level of attachment and aloofness we have in our love life, see the level of fear and denial that we are dealing with, and discover all the hidden issues we have buried deeper inside. Relationships help us to see the real source of our pain, loneliness, frustration, and of course get a glimpse into the unconditional love that thrives at the core of our being. It is only through diving into this divine multi-dimensional, multi-sensual mirror that the divine supreme consciousness inside our soul can be discovered! Once this pure consciousness is found and brought up through the murky waters into every relationship we have, it paves a path for permanent and total liberation from all forms of suffering that have encaged us in all our lives.relationship

“Residing in the mind is hell, prison. Resting in the heart, in love is heaven, freedom. We are more free than any thought conceived of what defines freedom. Who we are is far more vast than anything the mind thinks we are.” ~Angela Walker

Real poverty in life does not come from a lack of financial abundance, energy or creativity. Poverty stems from an avoidance and neglect of looking at who you are in this relationship mirror. Whenever we get into the habit of blaming anything outside ourselves for our unhappiness, we cannot really know why we are unhappy. When we are not using the relationship reflection to see into the truth of who we are being, we cannot develop our most enlightened character that we can imagine becoming on life’s stage.

The richest person in this world is the one who is the most free. This level of freedom in life comes not from a freedom that can be taken away from, yet from simply embracing and accepting wholeheartedly what is seen in the relationship mirror. The wise person has a respect for the feedback found in the reflection, and a state of gratitude for it, no matter how depressing the image may seem to be. There is an equanimity in the mind with where things are at because they can see the bigger picture of life’s journey. This truly enriched enlightened being has developed the habit of approaching others without judgment, fear or manipulation. They simply honor each person as a teacher who was sent to guide the soul back to Source in the most unique and unsuspecting way.

One of the most interesting insights I’ve had in my life was around about how the world actually is and how it sometimes appears to be. The World is this highly intelligent and perfectly organized field of conscious energy, which can appear to be dark, messy, harsh, unjust and abusive. It has both polarities at all times, and when this is realized the mind is not so easily tempted to believe there is only one side. When this enlightening thought hit me it became crystal clear how the Universe is always in a karmically divine order and is constantly in balance within itself. It is never off balance, ever. It only seems to be lacking balance and order when we have a narrowed mind and one-sided perspective.

“The real question is not whether life exists after death. The real question is whether you are alive before death.” ~Osho

When we remove the blinds we can revel in the glory of this sweet unsolvable mystery that is meant to keep us living freely on the edge of the unknown. By welcoming this succulent mystery of the relationship mirror everyday, we can see all three sides of the coin and truly be free. We can know who we spiritually are and start dancing beneath the stars without a care in the world. We can stop to relax and bathe in the Sun’s warm sunshine, enjoy the fluttering of a butterfly passing by, and feel the cool breeze glide across our face as we interact with our community from a place of understanding, lightness, awareness and compassion.

In our most enlightened space, we are constantly choosing to feel accept, love and appreciate ourselves exactly the way we are. This self-loving energy is then reflected outwards, onto everyone else in the world, giving them the feeling of self-acceptance exactly as they are. When we are abiding in this deep state of acceptance, we can find every experience to be exquisitely enlightening. We greet each experience with an open state of outer curiosity and inner self-enquiry. We constantly balance upon the edge of what we know and don’t know to be true.

relationshipIt is this inquisitive state of mind that pushes us to reach into the spiritual depths of the heart and discover the most magnificent home that is within our innermost being. By simply abiding in a state of wonder we can know how easy it is to evolve in consciousness, and every day discover a joyous heart in our chest overflowing with gratitude and love. This is the only way we can truly transcend all the suffering created in the mind.

During your day, whenever you can, stop to take a good long look inside yourself. Notice if either you have a heart filled with peace, or a mind caught in some whirlwind of thinking. It’s either one or the other, never do they both exist together. It’s like water and oil, they remain distinct and separate yet can appear to be mixed. When you’re looking inside, if you don’t like what you find, remember that you are the highest authority of your life! You are The Great Divine Master of your inner world. You have the power to make it into a heaven or a hell, and it’s all depending on one little thing. How connected are you with your heart. By forming a practice of creating a cozy sweet nest which you can feel is “home sweet home” within your heart, your journey through life will never feel cold, dark, lonely or fearful. Instead you will always have light and warmth wherever you are.

“And this is a miracle: the moment that you realize that there is no way to make a home, then this whole existence is home. Then wherever you are, you are at home.” ~Course in Miracles

Relationships are designed to not turn out the way we think they should because they are meant to make you grow in the most miraculous ways. The enlightened path of relationship is the path to total freedom because it throws us into the greatest spiritual journey of our lives. Relationships are the advanced life mastery course of life, they are the most ultimate challenge we can take. When we open up to explore a deep intimate relationship with someone, we have to look at ourselves in the spiritual mirror. The deeper we go, the more we will learn. Even if the relationship fizzles out in a week, falls through the cracks in a few months, or ends in devastating divorce after years, we are always given the gift of freedom in the end. The feeling of total liberation hits us like a gentle feather or a brick, depending on if we looked into the mirror and discovered this divine succulent spiritual truth of who we really are along the way.

Perhaps the greatest tip I’ve found in creating a healthy loving relationship is first knowing exactly what will ruin it. It’s important to know that the very moment you stop enjoying your relationship, you are starting to destroy it. You’ll also kill any relationship by imposing your ideas about how the other should and should not be. If you don’t tell the whole truth, hide your feelings, and don’t be impeccable with your word you’ll squeeze the life out of it. If you hide, play emotionally small, think small thoughts, and don’t ever take a risk to be real they cannot respect you and will one day walk away. If you can never apologize for anything, they will always be at a distance for you. The secret is doing the opposite of each of these things. We all deserve some room to make mistakes in life, and yet if you are spending years feeling stuck in your relationship, you’re not taking the time to look at the reflection in the mirror that’s right in front of you.

“The day on which we come to know the supreme consciousness within us, then the outside world will also appear to us like the expanse of the supreme consciousness. The whole will be a mirror to us when we become a mirror within.” ~Osho

theme_relationshipsThe last insight that I wish to share with you today, may be one of the greatest secrets to mastering relationships of them all. This is about knowing how to distinguish and interact with the two types of people in life. There are those who feed you, and those who feed off of you. People will either try to inspire you and lift you up, or devour your energy and pull you down. Many people out there aren’t yet conscious about how they are relating to you, nor the impact they have upon you. They live too close to their mind and cannot see the reflection in the mirror. The responsibility then is yours if you are falling prey to someone who pulls you down each day. Notice how do you respond when this someone is pulling your energy down? Why do you respond the way you do? Once you are able to respond with respect for yourself and never let anyone pull you down into the emotional dumpster with them, you have mastered one of the greatest lessons in this life.

In the end, we are each the ultimate authorities of what we manifest in our lives. We are each responsible for enjoying the people we bring into our homes, and responsible for the way we allow them to treat us. We are responsible if others can enjoy us, or feel forced to run away from us. We are the real authority. The greatest relationship is with ourselves. The other is there so our soul is pushed deeper, and we stop pointing the finger at the outer world for our lack of love or power. The connection with our own soul is where the gold is at, and this happens simply by turning our attention towards no other direction than the central heart of our being.

The heart is the answer to all our problems in life. We did not come to Earth to micromanage our lives, achieve our goals, reach to the top, or fix our broken self-esteem. Our mission here is much simpler and sweeter than this. We are here to abide in the heart, transcend the ego, find our real spiritual path and ascend into each day with pure unconditional love from our soul. We were born to discover that who we truly are is beyond the form and the formless. We are here to remember that we are timeless spiritual beings who do not die. We came here to embody this sweet sacred knowing and develop an everyday understanding that eternity is our natural state of being. This is why we are here, and understanding this in relationship brings about the gateway to freedom.

Wisdom for today

Self-trust

Lack of morality – a “Power Disorder”?

moralityI am once again reading in the newspaper about one individual – one of the highest ranking politicians in the country – abusing his position in order to gain personal financial favours I can not but ask myself why these things keep on happening in our society? What is it that causes their lack of morality, if such thing even exist? Now, having worked in many years in management positions with my fair amount of high profiles I naturally have my own answer to that question. Taking a big step back though and not trying to let my work experiences cloud my judgement I find it interesting to look a little closer at the term (or phenomena?) “morality”.

The term “morality” is usually used to refer to some accepted codes of conduct put forward by a society, in this meaning either by a specific group or by an individual for his own behaviour. This basically means that “morality” refers to a code of conduct that applies to all who can understand it and can form their behavior by it. There are of course different kinds of moral theories but one specific difference between them is that moral theories differ with regard to those to whom morality applies. In other words, there is basically a distinction between those moral theories that hold that morality applies only to those rational beings that have features of human beings that make it rational for them to implement morality versus those theories that holds an “account of morality that provides a guide to all rational beings, even if these beings do not have these human characteristics, e.g., God”.

morality1So what does this mean then? Is this what is being described when people talk about various “religious moralities”? Well, it could mean that your sense of morality is depending on which social group to which you belong, as the original descriptive definition of “morality” refers to the most important code of conduct put forward by a society and accepted by the members of that society. If you are not a member of that specific society, that specific code of conduct has no implications for how you should behave. Hmmm. Sounds convenient. And scary somehow! Well as I mentioned, this was one of the original descriptive definitions of “morality”. More recent theories place importance on a definition that states that “morality” refers to “the most important code of conduct put forward and accepted by any group, or even by an individual“. I sure like that one better.

Over all one can say that, apart from containing some prohibitions on harming some others, different moralities clearly can differ from each other quite a bit. Maybe this also explains why some people want others to act morally yet having difficulties to do so themselves. Nonetheless, difficulties in following the laws of a country or in accepting the moral code of conduct of ones society does not excuse lacking a common sense. I’m just saying…

“We have in fact two kinds of morality side by side; one which we preach but do not practise, and another which we practise but seldom preach.” – Bertrand Russell

Like attracts like

By expressing gratitude for that of which you already have you will attract more good things into your life. Expressing gratitude is a very powerful process of shifting your energies to something which is positive – letting go of what is negative – and by this, bring more positivety in your life.

“You create your own universe as you go along” – Winston Churchill
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Thoughts for today

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